Dating · 2 min
Monkey branching: never letting go of one branch until you’ve got the next
Some people won’t leave a relationship until the next one is locked in, like a monkey swinging from branch to branch. What monkey branching means, why it happens and what to do if it happens to you.
· This is my message
A monkey never lets go of a branch until it’s got a firm grip on the next one. Some people do the same with their relationships.
What monkey branching means
It’s starting to look for, flirt with or line up another relationship while you’re still in your current one, and only leaving once the new one is secured. No gap in between. Not a single day single.
It isn’t always cheating. Sometimes it’s a hunt for a backup: chats heating up, apps reinstalled “just out of curiosity”, someone who’s suddenly around a lot.
Why it happens
- Fear of being alone. The gap between relationships is scarier than a relationship that’s no longer working.
- Dodging the hard conversation. Jumping is easier than saying “this is over”.
- Attachment style. For some people with an anxious style, security always has to come from someone else, never from themselves.
It’s not that they can’t be alone. It’s that they’ve never tried.
Signs you might be the branch
- Sudden disconnection, with nothing specific having happened.
- Someone new keeps popping up in their conversations or on their phone.
- Future plans on pause, with no explanation.
No single sign proves anything on its own. If something feels off, ask straight out: better one awkward conversation than months of doubt.
If you’re the one swinging
No need to beat yourself up, but you do need to stop. Close one relationship before opening another and give yourself some time alone, even if it feels dizzying. That’s what lets you choose the next person by affinity, not out of fear of the void.